Therapy Deconstructed:

Facing Therapy Fears and Anxieties

Facing the fear and anxiety associated with starting therapy is a courageous step towards personal growth, one that deserves commending. On top of anxieties, it can be difficult knowing where to begin when starting the therapy process. To support clients transitioning as smoothly as possible here is a list of tips and recommendations for facing these challenges and overcoming your fears:

1. Acknowledge and Validate Your Feelings: Feeling anxious or fearful about therapy is very common, especially for first time attenders. It’s can be uncomfortable being vulnerable with another person. Therapy can be intimidating, so allow yourself the grace to feel it. Recognizing these emotions without criticizing yourself can over time make them feel more manageable.

Try This: Before your first session, write down the emotions you’re experiencing (e.g., nervous, skeptical, hopeful, embarrassed). Simply naming your feelings can help you approach therapy with greater self-awareness.

2. Journal Your Thoughts: Journaling can be a therapeutic exercise that helps you process and make sense of your feelings. It can be a great opportunity to put your thoughts into words, which helps you process not just independently, but can also serve as a tool for therapy, helping you remember events, details, and feelings for when you’re ready to share them. Journaling has a plethora of mental health benefits; to learn more, visit Mental Health Benefits of Journaling.

Try This: Buy or find a journal you like. This can be the same journal you use to write for other tips below. Spend some time writing about what’s making you consider therapy, those big picture ideas that are important to you.

3. Educate Yourself and Be Educated on Yourself: Learning about the therapy process often helps reduce uncertainty before your session. It’s also important to know yourself and what you’re looking for. Are you seeking support for a diagnosis? Are you looking for a space to process a specific life event? Is there a style of therapy that most appeals to you? Asking yourself these questions can help clarify your needs and make your therapist search more focused. For more, see Therapy Deconstructed: Finding the Right Therapist.

Try This: Spend some time reading a therapist’s website. Therapists typically use their websites to give prospective clients a comprehensive look at who they are, their therapeutic approach, areas of focus, and answers to frequently asked questions. Compare this information with your own goals and needs to help determine whether they’re likely to be a good fit for you.

4. Start with a Consultation: Finding the right therapist is an important part of the process, and it may take some shopping around before you commit! Consultations are a fantastic opportunity to determine whether a therapist feels like a good fit. During these sessions, clients get to establish their goals and intentions while both get a sense of each other.

Try This: Prepare two to three questions to ask during your consultation, such as their therapeutic approach, experience with your concerns, or what a typical session looks like.

5. Express Your Concerns Openly: As intimidating as starting therapy can be, therapists expect and are prepared for clients to arrive with concerns, anxiety, and unease. Being honest about your concerns helps them better support you.

Try This: Make a short list of anything you’re worried about before your session, such as opening up, being judged, or not knowing what to say. Bring the list with you and mention it early in the conversation.

6. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself during this process. Understand that seeking therapy is a positive and self-affirming decision, but it can also be challenging. Many people criticize themselves for needing support, but treating yourself with kindness can reduce shame and make therapy feel safer.

Try This: When self-critical thoughts arise, pause and ask yourself, “What would I say to a close friend in this situation?” Then offer yourself that same compassion. This mentality can be used for other areas of self-criticism as well.